sodamnrelatable:

imderekhaleandmyfamilyisdead:

i keep getting called by a ben dover

i don’t know who he is 

or why he just heavily breathes into the phone after he introduces himself

but he really needs to get the right fucking number already

imderekhaleandmyfamilyisdead:

i bought a plant yesterday

i figured that i could set the bar low and eventually relearn the art of “affection” 

i named the potted plant laura 2 

i woke up this morning and found nothing but a mess of soil and a note that said “OFFICIAL IOU: thnx 4 the weed bro” in scott’s handwriting 

i’m not sure if i’m more upset over losing laura 2 or the fact that scott can’t decipher between cannabis and premature hydrangeas 

shubbabang:

houch:

If Mr Brightside ever starts playing, and you don’t stop everything you’re doing and sing at the top of your lungs, you aren’t living life properly.